Speak Life: The Words We Plant in Our Homes

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” — Proverbs 18:21

I’ve been thinking a lot about words lately.

Not necessarily the big speeches or the perfectly thought-out things we say. I’m talking about the everyday words that come out of our mouths when we’re tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, running late, trying to make supper, answering questions, keeping up with work, taking care of the house, and managing everything else life throws at us.

Those words. Because if I’m being truthful, sometimes the words that come out of my mouth in those moments aren’t the words I would choose if I had taken an extra five seconds to think. And Proverbs 18:21 has been sitting heavy on my heart: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” That is a lot of responsibility wrapped up in one verse. Our words have power.

Words Are Seeds

Living on a farm, I understand that what you plant matters. You don't put a seed into the ground expecting it to produce something completely different. You plant corn, you expect corn. You plant beans, you expect beans.

Our words aren't all that different.

Every day, we're planting things in the hearts of the people around us—especially our children.

When I tell my girls, “I'm proud of you,” I'm planting something. When I tell them, “You can do hard things,” I'm planting something.

When I remind them that God created them intentionally and loves them deeply, I'm planting something.

The opposite is true too. Words spoken out of anger, frustration, impatience, or exhaustion can plant something as well. And that realization can be uncomfortable.

I know there have been moments when I've snapped at my kids because I was overwhelmed. Moments when my reaction was bigger than whatever actually happened. Moments when stress had been building all day, and unfortunately, someone I loved ended up receiving the overflow.

Maybe you've had those moments too. The goal isn't to beat ourselves up over every imperfect sentence we've ever spoken. We're human. We're going to get frustrated. We're going to have difficult days. But we can become more intentional about what we're planting.

What Will Our Children Carry With Them?

I've found myself thinking about something lately:

What if the voice our children eventually hear inside their own heads sounds a little bit like ours?

That thought stopped me, because someday, my girls won't be little. I won't always be standing beside them when they make a difficult decision. I won't always be there when someone hurts their feelings, when they fail at something, when they question themselves, or when life doesn't go according to plan.

Maybe some of the words I've spoken over them will still be there.

I want them to hear:

You are loved.

You are capable.

You can do hard things.

Your mistakes do not define you.

God created you with purpose.

You can always come home.

You can try again.

Those are the seeds I want to plant. Not because encouraging words guarantee an easy life for our children. They don't, but because home should be one of the places where life is consistently spoken over them.

Speaking Life Doesn't Mean Avoiding Correction

Speaking life doesn't mean pretending everything is wonderful. It doesn't mean never correcting our children or having hard conversations. It doesn't mean ignoring bad behavior or refusing to tell someone when they're wrong.

Sometimes love requires correction. However, there's a difference between correcting behavior and attacking someone's identity. You made a bad choice” is different from “You're bad.” “That wasn't kind” is different from “You're mean.”

“We need to work on listening” is different from “You never listen.”

One addresses something that needs to change.

The other can become a label. And labels have a way of sticking around much longer than we realize.

The Words We Speak Over Ourselves Matter Too

Here's the part I think we sometimes forget.

Proverbs 18:21 doesn't only apply to what we say to other people. Listen to the way you talk about yourself.

I'm failing.

I'm a terrible mom.

I'll never get this right.

I'm so behind.

I'm not disciplined enough.

I'm not good enough.

Nobody cares what I have to say.

I have caught myself saying versions of these things more times than I'd like to admit. Sometimes we would never speak to another person the way we speak to ourselves. There is a difference between acknowledging where we need to grow and constantly declaring defeat over our lives.

You can say, “Today was hard,” without saying, “I'm a failure.” You can admit, “I lost my patience,” without deciding, “I'm a bad mom.” You can recognize, “I'm not where I want to be yet,” without believing, “I'll never get there.” We can acknowledge reality while still speaking with hope.

What Are You Planting?

Maybe that's the question we need to carry with us this week.

What am I planting with my words?

In my children?

In my marriage?

In my friendships?

In my home?

In myself?

Those words spoken repeatedly become powerful. A simple “I appreciate you” can change the atmosphere of a marriage. An “I'm proud of you” can stay with a child for years. An “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken to you that way” can teach our kids that humility is stronger than pretending we're always right.

Sometimes speaking life looks incredibly ordinary. It looks like encouragement over breakfast. Prayer before school. Apologizing after losing your patience. Telling your husband you appreciate what he does. Reminding your child that one bad day doesn't define them.

Looking in the mirror and refusing to call yourself something God never called you. Small seeds.

Planted over and over again.

Speak Life

We're not going to get this right every time.

I know I won't. There will still be stressful mornings, sibling arguments, long workdays, harvest chaos, overflowing laundry baskets, attitudes, exhaustion, and moments when patience feels incredibly thin.

Maybe the goal isn't perfect words. Maybe it's becoming more aware of their power. When we get it wrong, we apologize. When we've spoken something harmful, we correct it. When someone we love is struggling, we remind them who they are. When our own thoughts become filled with defeat, we return to what God says is true. The words coming out of our mouths are planting something, and eventually, seeds produce fruit.

So let's plant carefully.

Let's plant encouragement.

Let's plant truth.

Let's plant grace.

Let's plant hope.

In homes where the world will inevitably bring enough criticism, comparison, disappointment, and hurt, let's make sure we're planting plenty of life.

May our homes be places where life is spoken often.